don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All the doctor said was why
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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