I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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