Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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