5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
