Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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