just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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