I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
