its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
