Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
