We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
