Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
