Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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