They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's a naked man in my car right now.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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