if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
