Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
