I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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