he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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