eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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