I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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