I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
is it fun? or sober?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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