Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
