We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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