also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
