Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
