I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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