the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize