We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
