she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
