Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
