Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
