so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
