Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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