just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize