Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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