Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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