I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
