i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
