is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
