I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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