i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
