If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
