the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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