I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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