Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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