And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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