the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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