Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize