dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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