i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize