Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
