were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
