She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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