I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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