I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My feet surprised me
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