Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was like having sex with a tree stump
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
