I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
