Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
