Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
