Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
