Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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