I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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