i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize