...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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