butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
