...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize