I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
