Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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