Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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