I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
