I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
