So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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