if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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