it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Maybe he injected his testicle?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
