wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
