Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
