two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
