We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
be right there i have to get my cape
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
