Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
