i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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